Photography, Switzerland and Vaud

I am a working mum, I work 2 jobs and I am a mother to 2 children, wife to 1 husband and caretaker of 2 cats and a dog.

I love what I do, I enjoy going to work each day. I love picking up the camera and capturing precious moments with friends, family and clients. However, there are days when I come home and my heart sinks.

Today was one of those days.

My youngest child (that’s him up there – on the banner) has been having some trouble at nursery, he has been fighting with another little boy. The staff have likened it to them being brothers – they wish to spend lots of time together but sometimes drive each other up the wall.

When this happens, it starts with my son (M)pushing or hugging the other little boy (E) too tightly, quite often E will react by biting M.

I fully understand that this is part of growing up, some children lash out, some shout and occasionally some bite. we are working with the nursery and E’s parent to try to stop it – but tonight M was very sad.

I am always taking pictures of M, he now even poses for me and tells me when he has had enough – normally these are happy shots, full of cheeky smiles and random gestures.

The picture to the left is what I saw, I had my camera in my hand and I took a single photo – to capture the moment (yes I did have a moment of doubt about taking the photo)

Thankfully this sad little face didn’t last for long, the promise of some chocolate buttons and a big cuddle soon brought about the smiles.

Tonight this little boy will be having lots of extra cuddles, his choice of food for dinner and possibly a bit of the lion king on dvd..

Tonights sadness has got me thinking, are we taking the right strategy when it comes to the nursery? is there anything further we can to make this easier for both M and E?

When the tension starts to build the boys are separated, given different toys to play with. When it gets to biting (which lets face it can take nano seconds) they are taken away from each other and both boys are spoken to. Rewards are given for good behavior - but at just 2 and 3 years old do they really understand what is going on?

An added complication is this is all being done in French and this is neither boys first language.

Suggestions on how other people have managed this are very welcome..

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Bryony - I wish I could help. But honestly, as long as it’s explained to them properly (which sounds like it is) and they are separated at the tense times, you can’t do much more than that. They’ll learn. Sounds like M gets lots of what he needs at home. Hug, being a parent is such hard work xx

Zoe - Thank you Bryony, it is sometimes quite tough

Claire - Have been having the same issue with my 4 year old. 2 times I’ve had to take him to the doctor with bites inflicted by another boy at nursery, these bites have broken the skin and have been on the face, back and once on the bottom! It’s now got to the stage that my son cries most mornings when were getting ready to go to nursery. He tells me he hates school (as he calls it). Funnily enough these are the days the other boy is there. My concerns are huge not only as these two boys will be in the same class at school when they start in august, buthou 20 month old has now started at the same nursery. I don’t know the solution, the nursery are so restricted with what they can do. Sorry I cannot offer any advice but you’re not alone and neither are our boys.

Zoe - Oh Claire i had no idea that the biting was so much worse for A – poor wee man

Marie - That sounds so difficult. They must both be quite frustrated at times – that will go as they get older, you know they will. Very hard to see them sad though x

Zoe - Marie, you are right, I think thats whats so frustrating for me, they both know they are wrong but dont know how else to express themselves

Emma - How awful, no advice I’m afraid as my experience didn’t end well but it sounds like nursery are handling it well. Hugs though, it will get better x

Zoe - It sounds like this is a more common problem than I realized. Thank you all for your support

Lee - Aw my poor boy, all this while I am out of the country and all I wish is to be able to give my boy is a big cuddle. They will grow out out of it, just now it’s the only way they know to express themselves. See you soon M

marlene - Zoe, Miah (4 year old) too has a very good friend in her class who is a lovely girl but when she gets tired or grumpy can get violent (so bite, kick…)….all I can say is that with time things have got better (it was much worse last year), partly because they can communicate better so you have to hope that within a year, they might not bite each other any more. Also, I have told miah to always report to teacher when incident happens so I can always be aware but I am sure you are doing this already. Finally, one suggestion from the teachers was to ensure miah manages to develop fulfilling friendships with other kids in her class, as I have to say they are all lovely children. So in effect make sure she’s sitting next to other children when they sit to do a task….I think it is working the teachers are telling me as its giving miah the confidence that she can be with other friends and be as comfortable as she is with her best friend who she always argues with….why don’t you suggest it to the caretakers in the creche? Good luck with it but don’t be too sad, it is part of growing up and as long as its monitored and there are constructive actions in place to improve the situation, there is not much more you can do…and at least its both ways, in our case, it was not……marlene

Zoe Bailey Photography

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